Beta ends; 2.400 goes retail

Mr. La Forge, why don't we have warp speed?

Mr. La Forge, why don't we have warp speed?

It’s ironic Relic chose to release 2.400 to retail on the eve of April Fool’s Day. After such a long wait, many of you may be asking yourselves, “is this for real?” Indeed, pushed home this very point with its April 1 shenanigan, which features everyone’s favorite bald Starfleet officer. Let it be known that reporters are never fooled by April Fool’s Day jokes, of course.

In fact, I’m taking this occasion to declare that Rifles Ready! has and always will be a shining beacon of light and truth — and as such I will never attempt to con you with some scandalous, obviously untrue, screamingly fake falsehood.

In unrelated news, I just landed a date with this chick. She called and said “Corkscrew, I love your blog. I read your last Battle Report and I just about had an orgasm when I read the part about the Strafing Run and the P47 flying over the ground like an avenging angel. You are sooo poetic for a COH player. I wanna have your babies.” Seriously, she said that. I’ve got the number she called me from on my cell phone.

Speaking of Battle Reports and the sexy A-list babes who love them, the release of 2.400 means you probably won’t wanna watch the replay of my upcoming Battle Report — it’s for a 2.301 match. Still, I plan to finishing writing it up and I’ll post it by Saturday. I already spent hours taking screen captures and editing them, so I’m not about to waste all that effort. I get the feeling most folks rarely watch the replay in full, anyway. In the future I’m considering doing a podcast-style audio that can stream on WordPress to accompany the text-and-screenshot Battle Reports. They say I have a good speaking voice, so I’ll work on this project in my spare time.

Remember to read my reaction to key 2.400 changes in this post.


4 Responses to Beta ends; 2.400 goes retail

  1. Kat says:

    Ey, that chick said she wants babies with me too!

  2. Oh snap. I guess that means you and I need to go mano-a-mano, COH-style!

  3. Fratt says:

    She’s not even a real chix lol

    Podcast would be damn awesome, carry on ! 😉

  4. Logabob says:

    I write for GR’s SC2 section and I was fooled by a really stupid april fools joke on some of the SC2 fansites…

    it is amazing what will sound reasonable to you when it’s 1 in the morning

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