On Balance: YOUR responsibility to this game

I want YOU to play the COH balance beta. Now! Blowjob later.Aunt Samantha wants YOU to play the COH balance beta! There is the vague hint of sexual favors should you choose to do so and then post constructive feedback on GR.org or on Relic’s official COH forums. You can tell we like using sexy women on Rifles Ready! to attract attention. All joking and patriotic pinups aside, if you love COH and ESPECIALLY if you have ever bitched about balance in the game, you should’ve found the 8GB of hard drive space and installed the COH balance beta. For a community with so many members being vocal (to use a generous word; bitchy and whiney could also be applied) about OMG XYZ IS OP, OMG BALANCE, the player statistics in the beta are embarrassing.

There’s been no more than 66 players online at one time since the beta came out. I’ve been on to play three games, each of which took me nearly 15 minutes to get into. Virtually no one automatches. There’s an average of between 20 and 30 players online at any one time, from my experience thus far.

Right now there are more than 12,800 individual topics in GR.org’s COH forums, excluding the Mess Hall forum. If a mere 10% of these topics were on balance (a very conservative percentage, if you ask me), that’s 1,280 players that should be playing the balance beta.

Even more outrageous, there are about 900 individual topics in the BALANCE BETA FORUM ITSELF. Now I know that doesn’t equate to 900 players, but even if many were repeats, there should be HUNDREDS of players in the beta.

Where are all the bitchy players whining about every unit and strategy in the book? Nowhere to be found when it comes to their single best opportunity to test solutions to the legitimate balance issues, and to pour their feedback directly into the waiting ears of Relic balance staffers.

This is beyond hypocrisy. It’s really a confirmation of the fact that a vast majority of balance whiners on GR.org are bitching just because they lost a game and chose to blame it on balance. They care little about actual balance.

The rest of you that aren’t whiners but still aren’t in the beta, click here for a link to download the beta.


3 Responses to On Balance: YOUR responsibility to this game

  1. jodonnell says:

    With the exception of the original Fileplanet beta for CoH, all of the betas have suffered this chicken-and-egg problem – no one wants to log on to the beta if no one is around, so if it’s empty, it stays that way. Setting up a pre-arranged time to play some 1v1s would probably help – then people at least have some indication of when they can find others.

  2. Liquidwulfe says:

    Agreed. Other than some player vs cpu stuff, I have not gotten an opportunity to really use the beta. I log in about twice a night, max players I have seen is 5 online, with no games available. It is a slippery slope mechanic applied to real life.

  3. jodonnell says:


    7PM GMT this Saturday (June 14) sound good?

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