It's all going down, down, down.

It’s official. Company of Heroes Online, popularly known as “COHO,” is dead and all servers will cease operating on March 31, 2011. Sadly, all your Commanders, items, records, ranks and so forth shall disappear into the void.

For some reason, the imminent sweeping away of Hosni Mubarak before a tidal wave of wrath from the Egyptian street seemed appropriate to me as supporting imagery (left). I guess it’s time to overhaul the Rifles Ready! banner yet again.

Actual money spent on COHO cash, which were the real meat on the bones of this free-to-play experiment, will usable until March 31. One hopes they will make all the overpowered items and units available now for purchase, to console folks who actually spent real cash on COHO cash.

Don’t kid yourself — COHO really is dead, despite corporate Relic puffery in the form of noises such as “After an exciting period of operating and testing, we will be closing the Open Beta on March 31, 2011 to evaluate the next steps for the Company of Heroes series.” Translation: This shit didn’t make us any fracking money.

Who didn’t see this coming? The free-to-play model is a simple one, built on microtransactions, where gamers would pay tiny amounts of money for non-tangible products that enhance the free experience. Ask yourself, honestly, if you were ever seriously tempted to spend a dime on your COHO experience. The complete rant, plus an update on the future of this blog, may be found below the fold.

Purple and red items drop, after all, however rarely. Supply to refill all your units and items could be had easily from comp-stomp games, custom games with friends, or just just plain lots of competitive play.

Whereas an MMO could offer lots of pay-only items that didn’t affect game balance — such as character skins, mounts, avatars and so forth — an RTS that aims to be competitive has far less room to maneuver.

They could’ve started doing custom skins, but RTS gamers are of a fundamentally different mindset. We’re not trained to invest in our armies the way an RPG player invests in his personal character, because each match represents a new army. Relic tried to get around this with Hero units, but once leveled they were basically no different from field-built units.

There is a silver lining. We do have to thank our lucky stars that Relic will roll all the bug fixes and relevant balance changes made in COHO’s lifetime into the vanilla game. In fact there has already been a separate patch for the vanilla game with Opposing Fronts and Tales of Valor. NOTE: There is a deal for a $5 copy of COH Gold, which includes the original game plus Opposing Fronts. Just log into your beta account to get the code, which must be redeemed from the THQ Online Store. If COHO was your first introduction this franchise, you should jump on it. Yawning old timers such as myself already have both games.

The future of this blog. As you’ve no doubt noticed, even after I brought Rifles Ready! back to life, I’ve had a hard time keeping it updated. The reasons for suspending it a year and a half ago haven’t gone away — work, landlord responsibilities and a social life. But I intend not to give up. While updates may not be weekly, I will keep plugging away here.

You can expect a lot of content in the future, once COHO dies and the final, cumulative patch for the vanilla game comes out:

• Analysis of the state of the vanilla game, post-patch (and I mean all the patches)
• Balance of the Opposing Fronts armies
• Replay analysis in the form of occasional Battle Reports
• Random, off-kilter posts like the one about the COH Booth Babe
• A good time

I’m still going to be playing 2v2s with Surprise and posting his thoughts and tips and tricks — as COH continues to be the one RTS he clutches most tightly to his heart. So stay sharp, men, and pay us a visit from time to time.

Coinky-dink? I think not, kameraden.

Here’s my two cents in a nutshell: This patch gently tickles some of the outstanding balance issues I highlighted in my earlier post (which by the way, are not somehow unique to me — these were literally the top five COHO balance problems listed on GR.org).

Sadly, where stern and decisive action was required, we got some rather gutless, half-hearted tweaks. Relic admits as much, saying that this update “focuses on bug and balance fixes, with the intention of not introducing high risk changes or features before we all go off to celebrate the holidays.” It’s a beta, if in name only. Risk, gentlemen, is why you’re aboard.

Anyway, check below the fold for the full list of balance changes, with some commentary.

American balance changes

• 57mm Anti-Tank Gun
  • Build time reduced from 67 seconds to 43 seconds.
  • This reduction is matched by the Pak’s build time going down to 43 seconds as well. What’s the point of reducing build time for AT guns across the board? I guess it’s to pad the margin of error for getting caught with your pants down when light armor hits.
• Armor Commander Self Repair ability
  • Ability cool down has been increased from 45 seconds to 90 seconds.
  • The issue isn’t really how often Self Repair is used, but rather how good it is once activated. I guess the onus is on Armor players to choose when they activate more wisely.
• Infantry Commander Attrition ability
  • Munitions cost has been increased from 50 to 80 munitions.
  • This is good curbing Attrition usage through the mid-game, when Heroic Charge, grenades and mines are all actively competing for munitions.
  • The ability cool down has been increased from 190 to 250 seconds.
  • Unimaginative, boring, but safe and probably effective.
• Infantry Commander Camouflage ability
  • Camouflaged squads will break camouflage if they attempt to capture a point. The squad will go back into camouflage if they are not attacked while they are capturing the point.
  • What about running at full speed? And Stormtroopers?
• Assault Jeep Hero
  • Hero rarity has been changed from uncommon to rare.
  • The recruitment cost has been increased from 200 manpower to 240 manpower and 10 fuel.
  • Hero levels have been restructured
  • Level 1) Ability obtained: Captures points at a 50% reduced rate. Sight radius is increased by 10%.
  • Level 2) 10% accuracy bonus
  • Level 3) 30% health bonus
  • Level 4) 20% damage bonus
  • Level 5) Capture speed penalty removed
  • The fuel requirement is very harsh, and pretty much kills it. On the plus side, without speed penalty it should capture as quickly as Riflemen.
• Advanced Defense Engineers
  • Hero levels have been restructured
  • Level 1) Can construct defensive structures 25% faster
  • Level 2) 20% health bonus
  • Level 3) Construction cost of defensive structures reduced by 25%
  • Level 4) Received damage while constructing reduced by 25%
  • Level 5) Construct defensive structures 25% faster and received accuracy while constructing reduced by 10%
  • Good for faster tank traps and sand bags. Better than vanilla Engies thanks to the health. Note that mines do not count as defensive structures.
• Elite Engineers
  • Hero levels have been restructured
  • Level 1) All squad members are equipped with rifles and have elite armor equipped.
  • Level 2) 10% health bonus
  • Level 3) Ability obtained: Throw grenade
  • Level 4) Two squad members are equipped with BARs
  • Level 5) Ability obtained: Suppression ability
  • It’s still really good.
• Camouflage HMG Team
  • Hero levels have been restructured
  • Level 1) Ability obtained: Camouflage
  • Level 2) 10% health bonus
  • Level 3) 15% damage bonus
  • Level 4) Squad will camouflage while retreating
  • Level 5) Movement penalty removed from camouflage
  • Honestly I’d never heard of this Hero. It sounds sweet, especially as ambush traps for Pumas.
• Gladiator Riflemen
  • Hero levels have been restructured
  • Level 1) Squad is equipped with elite armor
  • Level 2) 10% health bonus
  • Level 3) 15% accuracy bonus and 15% rate of fire bonus
  • Level 4) Ability obtained: Fire up
  • Level 5) Ability obtained: Grenades and Stickybombs

Wehrmacht Changes

• Pak 38 Anti-Tank Gun
  • Build time reduced from 67 seconds to 43 seconds.
  • Pak veterancy has been changed from support vet to vehicle vet.
  • This is an awfully subtle nerf. If you go Tier 2 for Paks, you probably wouldn’t bother with vehicle veterancy, and likewise if you are buying vehicle veterancy you probably went Tier 3. It makes sense that an AT gun is a support team and not a vehicle, of course.
• Defensive Commander Recoup Losses ability
  • The command point requirement has been increased from 0 CP to 2 CP.
  • Doesn’t go nearly far enough. It will give the Defensive Commander an actual need to tech to armor of some kind, but the massive resource bonuses still yield an overwhelming advantage. To counter you must be really aggressive against Defensive players early on, which is tough given everything else they have before 2 CPs.
• Blitzkreig Commander Rocket Barrage ability
  • Damage against tanks has been reduced by 25%.
  • Terrain deformation reduced by 75%.
  • The time delay between the smoke drop and the barrage has been increased from 3 to 4.5 seconds.
  • This doesn’t go far enough. The tank damage is still too good, but the time delay is an effective change for the better. Aftershock remains in need of a brutal bludgeoning with a Louisville slugger. It is a random, stupid ability and just a deliberate attempt to make retarded shit happen. The Wehr player can’t control when it goes off, and it’s sheer luck if the Aftershock hits anything, which makes it bullshit when it does.
• Fatherland HMG Team
  • Hero levels have been restructured
  • Level 1) 10% received damage reduction and 20% suppression reduction while in friendly territory
  • Level 2) Passive health regeneration rate increased while in friendly territory
  • Level 3) 20% accuracy bonus while in friendly territory
  • Level 4) 10% sight range bonus and 15% weapon range bonus while in friendly territory
  • Level 5) Movement speed increased while in friendly territory
  • Worthless except for the minor damage reduction nerf. Let me go make an omelette while my Fatherland MG levels up in a few compstomps.
• Berger’s Pioneers
  • Hero levels have been restructured
  • Level 1) One squad member is equipped with a Panzerschreck
  • Level 2) Construction menu includes mines and tank traps. Mine cost reduced by 20%
  • Level 3) 15% weapon range bonus
  • Level 4) 20% penetration rate bonus and 25% construction speed increase
  • Level 5) Increases squad size by one
  • Yawn.
• Field Specialist Sniper
  • Hero levels have been restructured
  • Level 1) 50% capture speed bonus
  • Level 2) 20% health bonus
  • Level 3) Ability obtained: Sprint
  • Level 4) Passive ability obtained: Mine detection
  • Level 5) Ability obtained: Plant crippling trap

  Flare

  • No longer lets you rape American Snipers for free.
  • No longer lets you base-rape with Rocket Barrage and Aftershocks by clicking your mouse button a few times.
  • Oh wait, that’s just my imagination, running away with me.

There's a Neville Chamberlain joke in here somewhere.

Do you like playing COHO? I’ve got one great question for you: “Who have balance this game is a blind?“

This phrase has been seared across my neurons. One instant I was scanning for posts in Relic’s official COHO forums, the next I was rolling on the floor with giddy, joyful mirth.

To me this is on the level of such contemporary classics as “All your base are belong to us,” “I can has cheeseburger?” and the old RTS standby, “He’s in ur base killin ur d00dz.“

This is taken from the name of a thread on Relic’s official COHO forums, in which a poster named “Suen” — one hopes desperately he is not a native English speaker — offers no reasons why the game is unbalanced. He got as good as he gave; if you read the thread he gets bashed immediately by Relic, no less.

Relic moderator “Noun” replied in this fashion: “Unlike some more basic games for new gamers where the balance is very easy and simple, because they just mirror units on each side, this is a more advanced game for fans of video games.  If you’d like to spend some time playing the game and learning how it works we’d be happy to accept your constructive feedback.  But if you’re just wanting to point out that this isn’t an easy game that’s not as helpful.”

Well, while Suen offers no more than marvelous grammatical constructs — which are a worthy addition to the enterprise of written English — I will take Noun up on his offer. You want some constructive feedback? Trust me, it’s not for a lack of balance problems with your game. Suck on this bullet-point list, buddy.

These are in no particular order, and should be read with the caveat that I play mostly Americans.

Overall balance. In my opinion the Americans still have the upper hand in the early game, as you can win the field with one good flank unless you’re fighting against Recoup Losses spam. But the early advantage mechanic is reduced thanks to Hero Units like Bargain Volksgrenadiers and especially the Fatherland MG. The overall balance grows increasingly skewed as the match drags on, thanks Axis abilities that snowball to produce an overwhelming late game advantage. That being said, I will endeavor to be as bipartisan as possible in listing specific issues.

Infantry Attrition. Conceptually feasible, in practice this ability encourages mindless waves of infantry charges, tons of Firing Up defeating the entire suppression mechanic, and lots of griefing. Suggestion: Rather than replace units wholesale, this should be reworked. I would agitate for changing this to either offer manpower for lost infantry, combined with free level 1 or level 2 veterancy on new squads to distinguish it from the Axis’ Recoup Losses ability.

Recoup Losses. There is a replay on GR.org that offers a full-frontal showcase of the brokenness of this ability. When maxed, this yields an appalling amount of manpower, munitions and especially fuel for squad members, vehicles or even tanks lost by a Defensive Commander. In this replay you’ll see the Axis player rack up 1,500 fuel over the course of a 45-minute game. Suggestion: Nerf this bitch sideways. For starters, reduce the duration by 50%, or reduce the fuel yield by 50%, or increase cooldown by another 30 seconds. You could probably do all three. Conceptually this is puzzling, too. The more you get fucked up, the greater the bonus. Just make sure you don’t lose whole squads. Does this encourage unit preservation? Again, I refer you to the above replay.

Flare. It’s been long-known that the Sniper vs. Sniper balance is delicate. So it would seem a bad idea to give one doctrine the ability to instantly de-cloak an enemy Sniper whilst also making him much easier to hit, without any risk to your own Sniper, who is free to fire and relieve your opponent of 340+ manpower instantly. Flare is so broken at high levels that the preferred counter-tactic offered forth by top American players is to mix your Sniper with Riflemen, to make it physically more difficult for the Axis player to right-click on him. You see, retreating when the Flare falls is just foolish, as Flare increases accuracy by 45%, offsetting the -25% retreat accuracy bonus and offering a +20% bonus against retreating units. Suggestion: Flare needs a delay, plain and simple. It cannot be instantaneous. This is the simplest solution and requires no other changes to the improvement points for Flare. The alternative would be a severe reduction to its camouflage detection radius, so you’d have to drop it right on a Sniper to reveal him. You can’t simply slap it down anywhere you think an American Sniper may be and de-cloak half a screen’s worth of surface area.

Flare and Rocket Barrage. This merits its own separate bullet. You can literally press a few buttons and kill American base structures, or worse eliminate entire infantry armies with careful timing and a modicum of luck. Suggestion: Flare no longer provides line of sight (LOS). Or, Rocket Barrage doesn’t get Aftershock ability. Or, give the Americans the ability to base-rape somebody for free.

Field Repair. It’s too good during combat, and that’s really all there is to say. This is a simple tweak just to nerf the repair rate. Suggestion: You could get all fancy, and make each hit sustained with the ability active reduce the repair rate. Even so, between Panthers, Tigers, King Tigers, high-damage panzershrecks on more units, panzerfaust on more units and of course Paks, it’s difficult to suggest that American tanks are too tough to destroy.

Full-speed movement in camouflage. A strike against both the Infantry Commander and Blitz Stormtroopers, in my opinion. Invisible Riflemen for Stickies, lots of invisible grenade-throwing, everything at full speed, and so on. Suggestion: The speed bonus cannot be equivalent to moving while uncloaked.

Game-breaking hero units. Really I’m only talking about the Fatherland MG is absurdly good, forcing flanks to grow increasingly Kafkaesque, often requiring three or more angles of attack, and its health buff makes it highly resistant to grenades and small arms once flanked. To top it all off it doesn’t even have to retreat very often thanks to its ability to run on home turf. Assault Jeeps are good, but needs minor tweaking by comparison — after all, you now get Pioneers with panzershrecks, panzerfausts and of course a mine will one-shot the Assault Jeep.

She won't give you her number.

This just in: Apparently Company of Heroes has its own booth babe! You know, booth babes – the disarmingly attractive young females sporting “in-universe” costumes from your favorite video games, who stand by the booths of game companies at various events!

While booth babes were popularized by companies like Square Enix (employers of the original Lara Croft booth babe, who got too naked for Playboy and was fired), they were immortalized by the World of Warcraft Elven booth babes. When a game company’s got scratch, the booth babes come more comely, in greater numbers and seem to sport more revealing attire.

Sadly, as THQ/Relic doesn’t have that kind of scratch. At this year’s E3 in Los Angeles, which ran from June 15-17, there was only one COHO babe and she wore a faux U.S. Army uniform (you can see more Relic photos from E3 on their COHO Facebook page).

Join the war effort!

As you may infer from these photos, the babe — one Anna Panici, according to her name tag — was tasked with standing in the vicinity of the COHO booth and snapping off salutes, most likely to male passersby.

I couldn’t resist Googling her. She speaks five languages and likes to be shown a good time by RTS players who know how to mold magic with their fingers — around a G3 laser mouse, that is. If you must, click here to view Anna’s Picasa web album, you salacious bastard. I know you would’ve Googled her anyway if I hadn’t provided the link.

She'll make that face for for the next guy, too.

All kidding aside: I honestly don’t see the point. COHO is a marketing experiment by a company that obviously doesn’t have the resources to do a proper sequel to one of the best RTS games of all time. It’s also one of the best World War II games of all time. I don’t know what happened after the original COH came out, but it left Relic fielding one lonely booth babe, who had to put up with pick-up lines from gamers all by herself. Imagine the army of Allied and Wehrmacht babes — and the sorts of garments that leave little to the imagination — Relic could have afforded.

Hero Units are a very mixed bag.

I’ll be starting a few initiatives here to cover the differences between COHO and the original game, expansions and all. First up are Hero Units, starting with the ones I’ve found most useful. Later this week, there will be a broad concept article on how Hero Units alter the game — the thesis will be that Heroes are NOT always preferable to non-persistent regular units, rather they are situational.

What’s more, Hero Units are a very mixed bag. Some Hero Units are tremendously useful, while others suffer significant disadvantages that make their vanilla counterpart a much better choice (the Skilled M8 comes to mind). Relic has adopted a semi-standardized prefix system for low-level Hero Units, which have a green border on their unit icons. A Skilled Tank Destroyer gets the same bonuses as a Skilled Sherman, but the bonuses for “Skilled” armor are slightly different than for “Skilled” infantry. These changes are context-sensitive, e.g. it makes sense for “Skilled” tanks to benefit from 10% faster speed and acceleration but “Skilled” infantry get 25% less received suppression instead at the same level.

For now, let’s talk about the Durable Tank Destroyer, a mid-level Hero Unit and one of a few that can be purchased from the COHO Store (2,7500 supply or 100 COHO cash). Here’s the official Rifles Ready! straight-to-the-chase summary card for the Durable Tank Destroyer.

Just what the doctor ordered.

This is a unit that is undeniably superior to the vanilla M10 in every respect once fully leveled, suffering no disadvantages (e.g., Skilled Riflemen can’t pick up weapons). You can’t say the same for the Durable Sherman, which gets the exact same bonuses as the Durable Tank Destroyer but winds up being far less useful. The M10 was a highly situational unit in COH because of its paper-thin armor, tendency to “blank-fire” (a bug where it would animate and the cannon sound effect would go off, but no round was fired) and overall inability to survive long enough to gain the veterancy it desperately needed. The Durable version of the M10 solves all these problems, particularly for Armor Commanders.

"Assault gun is the primary target!"

The 30% increase to health gives the M10 almost as much staying power as the Sherman, while it retains its superior anti-tank main gun, its higher top speed, much more responsive turn rate and rapid acceleration. Right off the bat, this lets the M10 go toe-to-toe with Stug IVs and Panzer IVs. It also gives the M10 more survivability when you attempt to micro it into crowds of enemy squads (the maneuverability of the M10 lets you confuse squad pathfinding and potentially crush infantry unless your opponent knows exactly how to counter).

The 10% decrease in received penetration, which basically translates to a 10% greater chance to deflect anti-tank projectiles, is less noticeable but a solid nice-to-have bonus.

Self-repair has a catch.

The Self-repair ability costs 35 MUN to activate and prevents the M10 from firing while active, but does not affect movement unlike the Armor Commander’s Field Repairs ability. It provides repairs equal to about 40% of the M10 health bar.

This design feature of Self-repair is clearly intended to give you an incentive to run away while regenerating health. At the very least, put a world object such as a house or hedgerow between you and enemy AT while the ability is active.

The soul of a Puma is worth 28 MP

Finally, the Armor Commander’s abilities yield dividends on every one of these advantages. HVAP Rounds make the M10 fire faster, further improves its penetration against heavy armor and boosts accuracy. This combines well with Armor Bounty, virtually guaranteeing kills and thus generous bounties in the right situations — a near-death, high-value unit such as a Panther or Tiger, for instance.

Field Repairs, which by itself can bring an M10 for a sliver of health to 80% (assuming you have leveled pretty high), can be active at the same time as Self-repair. If you have a max-level Field Repairs ability and also activate Self-repair, we’re talking healing hit points worth 150% or more of the Durable M10′s substantial health bar.

Temporary God mode.

Well-timed use of these abilities allows a Durable M10 to defeat Panther tanks one-on-one, assuming you get enough side and rear penetrations, particularly with HVAP Rounds. The increased penetration appears to improve damage as well — this could be some sort of multiplier being factored in, or just my imagination, running away with me. Feel free to correct or vindicate me on this if you know the guts of the game engine.

The bottom line: Armor Commanders MUST have a level 5 Durable Tank Destroyer parked in their Tank Depot. It’s the same price as a regular M10, but can absorb tremendous punishment during a tank battle with even mediocre micromanagement. Its anti-tank gun, already highly effective against vehicles and medium armor, becomes deadly against these targets and offers decent chances at frontal penetration of Tigers and even the King Tiger. Other Commanders still get a much better M10 right out of the Depot, that supplements AT guns, Paratroopers and Rangers nicely.

The dollar is on the decline.

It’s been more than one-and-a-half years since my last post on this blog, yet the supportive comments and demands for more content keep trickling in. I’m immensely appreciative of all this support, and humbled. I have done little to deserve it.

But with Company of Heroes Online (COHO) poised to hit the big time, I’ve decided its time for Rifles Ready to make a triumphant return. I’m not sure whether Battle Reports will return in their present form, or whether an MP3 shoutcast would be better.

But given their immense popularity, they will come back, along with:

• Analysis and breakdown of Hero Units and Army Items
• Analysis of revised doctrine abilities and skill trees
• Strategy tips from Surprise, who’s also getting a kick out of COHO

Why the long silence? Well, real life got in the way, with job-related duties intensifying and the fact that I bought a house and have to fill it with renters to cover the mortgage. You’d be surprised how much routine work goes into maintaining a house. It feels like everything breaks once a year. Also, let’s be honest: Relic gave up on this game as of patch 2.602. Balance between the four factions is, if not broken, seriously undermined by the way the Panzer Elite and British work. And when COHO went into public beta a few months ago, I was dubious. A cheap way for Relic to leverage existing assets and scare up some quick cash? Check. A fun game that is more balanced than the final, woefully neglected incarnation of COH/Opposing Fronts/Tales of Valor? Actually… check.

I’ve been playing the COHO beta for a couple months and it’s a lot of fun. The balance is a mixed bag, with variations in Hero Units, Army Items and Commander levels inevitably setting the stage for unfair matches. But the game has been reinvigorated by the expansion of the doctrine trees and all sorts of new abilities for the Americans and Wehrmacht.

I’m far less sanguine on the micro-payment model offered by Relic, which includes the sale of physical “COHO cash” cards for real American greenbacks. At the moment, you can play enough games to resupply all your top-end Hero Units and Army Items without COHO cash, but if this changes and it becomes impractical to do so, that’s a wrap.

That being said: Let’s hope for the best, because COHO is a reminder of just how good the original game was. Just stop yourself from asking the obvious questions (where the hell is COH 2, why the hell is there no support for the expanded COH beyond 2.602, etc.) and you’ll be best posed to enjoy the ride.

This alone merits this certificate, which conveys pretty exactly my general feeling to Relic:

Competence is good.

That being said, here’s a more detailed breakdown of my reflections. As usual, I’ve listed only the most significant changes (in my opinion). Please visit www.gamereplays.org for a full list of patch notes.

Patch 2.600
Bug Fixes

• Cool-downs are now working properly for all weapons.

Always a good thing. I’m not 100% on which exact weapons weren’t cooling down properly, but I’d say the T17′s bizarre rate of fire is a good example.

• HMGs in buildings will now switch targets as intended; there is a 3.5 second delay before the hmg will fire at another target.

In my experience this is somewhat similar to how MGs worked before, they would suppress one squad, then target a second new squad and suppress it as well. However, this behavior was limited to squads within the same cone o fire, now this applies to squads moving to flank from another direction. The 3.5 second forces you to be tighter but I’m agnostic on whether this was needed. At least it works.

• Fixed an issue where Pak38s could stack their first-strike modifiers.

An outrageous, game-breaking bug that should never have happened. It better be fixed.

• Raised Panzerschreck squads preference to target Light Vehicles while garrisoned in buildings.

Makes sense in theory. I never noticed shrecks not targeting light vehicles; in any case you could tell the garrisoned squad what to target before 2.600 anyway.

Gameplay

• Improved the reliability and effectiveness of the American’s Strafing Run.

It feels pretty much the same to me, to be honest. I haven’t seen any incident where the P-47 would fully strike a squad but do no damage. Some amount of damage and suppression has always been inflicted in 2.600. But I’ve only had occasion to Strafe a few times so far. Need more time to wait and see.

• The T17 armored car’s damage output has been reduced.

It was silly before. Good job listening and watching the replays, Relic.

• Penetration of the T17 armored car has been reduced.

Unnecessary in my opinion. It still misses light vehicles more often than the M8, and against armored units like Ostwinds and Wirblewinds, a penetration nerf was unnecessary.

• The Panzer Elite’s Schwimmwagen Scorched Earth ability has been replaced with an “Incendiary Trap” ability.

Thanks be to God. As demonstrated in the most recent Battle Report, this is nigh-unstoppable. Malivos just got lazy and CharlesDarwin got focused.

• Infantry sections with Bren upgrades can now use ‘Button Enemy Vehicle’ when garrisoned inside a building.

I’m all in favor of consistency.

• Panzer Elite Infantry Halftrack suppression lowered.

This was the result of a bug, in my understanding. Not sure why it was placed under “Gameplay” issues by Relic. But it’s a good change.

Rifle NOT ready.

As promised, here are the last three tracks from the first volume of our COH audio strategy series, Mind of a Master. This concludes our special D-Day celebration, but fear not sports fans: World War II goes on year-round at Rifles Ready!

That being said, I apologize for the slow updates of late. Suffice it to say June is a really, really tough month at work with a lot of things happening at the same time — all of which I’m personally responsible for.

I am also aware that many of the topics in this last batch of tracks were addressed in the recently released patch 2.600 — my reaction on that in a later post. But there’s also a lot of other insight from Surprise so I think you’ll still get plenty out of these.

Expect that post, plus an interesting balance article from Surprise, in the coming days. There’s also a new Battle Report in the works featuring a really good up-and-coming player whose replays have gotten a lot of attention on GR.org.

Track 8: Controversial balance issues – The Strafing Run

Track 9: Controversial balance issues – Supertanks and British armor

Track 10: Controversial balance issues – MGs firing at multiple targets, Panzer Elite and end credits

[Click link above to download the actual replay]

Vrrrooooom! *makes sputtering propeller noises* rat-tat-tat-tat!

So there’ve been a few delays… you try ducking tornadoes while flying westward to the Mile-High City! Anyway, I’m now comfortably ensconced in my 12th floor hotel suite, typing away. This match is a timeless showcase of human mental perseverance. That said, I’ve watched it several times now and it’s clear that the opponent got lazy and careless, which contributed to the comeback.

That doesn’t change things as much as you might think. There was such a tidal wave built up that you can’t fault the guy for taking a breather and floating 800 manpower or so. Anyway, onward to the match.

The game is on Semois, and we’ve got CharlesDarwin, a seasoned and solid player, vs. Malivos, probably some smurf for some guy. Darwin goes for a Weapon Support Center (WSC) start, always risky but less so against the Panzer Elite and even less so on Semois. PE have a hard time countering garrisoned MGs without Mortar Halftracks and Semois lends itself well to MG strongpoints. So this isn’t as butt-in-the-air crazy as it may sound.

Malivos’ strategy becomes clear instantly. He picks Scorched Earth doctrine and sends his initial Schwimmwagen to Darwin’s bottleneck Strategic Point (SP) by the bridge. BAM! The point is destroyed, necessitating repair before it can be recaptured by either player.

Meanwhile, Darwin’s MG takes up position in the civilian building just below Malivos’ SP bridge. He sends a second MG to the hay bales by the +5 fuel point on the top half of Semois. They stop a few Panzer Grenadiers from advancing, but Malivos mainly chooses to avoid them. Darwin goes for a Sniper next, which is a great selling point for going WSC first against the PE.

Snipers are the best way for Americans to counter elite, heavy Axis infantry, including PGs and Wehrmacht Grenadiers and Knights Cross Holders. They’re particularly deadly against the PE’s three-man squads. They are NOT generally the best unit to use for repairing scorched points. But they certainly can, and Darwin takes the risk of doing so with his Sniper. Miraculously he is not butchered where he stands, but completes the repair. It’s interesting to note the Sniper can repair about as fast as a Rifle squad; there’s no disadvantage there to using a Sniper.

You have to wonder whether the guy is taking the game seriously with this kinda stuff; but I guess maybe Darwin figured it was unlikely for Malivos to attack a disabled point, and that if he kept a sharp eye out he’d be alright.

In any case, I’ll stop my second-guessing. I suppose I’d just feel really naked to have a 340 manpower unit sitting all by his lonesome doing repairs, which would cause him to take extra damage in the event of an attack.

But hardly is this point repaired than does Malivos’ Schimmwagen decap and scorch Darwin’s +10 fuel point. Each player has two jugular points on this map: the SP by their respective bridges, and their +10 fuels. Striking and holding either one can induce a fatal hemmorrhage. It’s at this juncture that Darwin begins bitching about PE “abuse.” I don’t wish to unduly inject my opinion, but the game is the game. You can’t expect players not to abuse broken game elements. It’s Relic’s fault, not your opponent’s. So Darwin needs to sit the fuck down, have a Coke and smile — aka DEAL WITH IT. Fortunately he manages to do the latter without breaking stride.

He sends his Engy in to begin restoring the point. But Darwin knows this is a stalling move. On Semois, where the fuel control is so even, you can only seriously hope to slow your opponent’s tech slightly by harrassing his fuel, because it’s easy to fight you off and your own fuel point is equally exposed.

Before Darwin can even decide on a next course of action, Malivos sends an Infantry Halftrack with two PGs directly into his base. As has been well-established, U.S. MG tents are vulnerable to small arms fire, unlike Wehrmacht bunkers. They also have a limited field of fire, unlike PE Flakvierlings. Darwin gets an MG back to his base in time to garrison his HQ, which on Semois, has enough line-of-sight to defend the left-most MG tent.

They're coming to pillage the village!

Darwin’s Sniper is very nearly hunted down at least three times by the Infantry HT, which keeps revealing his cloak but can’t turn quickly enough to fire at him.

A noobier player might have lost his nerve and simply retreated the Sniper, but Darwin keeps his cool and his Sniper cloaked. He manages to walk his Sniper calmly in unexpected directions, dodging a brutal death again and again. If you thought this guy liked playing his Sniper to the ever-dangerous precipice before, this kind of baiting game takes the cake and then some.

You bring the meat, the AC brings the cleaver.

By now Darwin has his Motorpool up and is building an AT gun. The gun crew pops out just soon enough to vaporize the engine-damaged Infantry HT.

Can I get a BAM, SON!?

Unfortunately, the crew takes aim at the charging AC, fires — and the shell strikes the hulk of the Infantry HT, which absorbs the damage. The AC flanks gun without a scratch and it’s GGs for three gun-wheeling GIs. If I were Darwin, I’d be saving up my stores of outrage for shit like this. Of course, even if the AT gun had hit the AC, it almost certainly would not have destroyed it. But it may have inflicted engine damage, enough for Engies and other units to finish it off.

Such is the price you pay for randomness in the game. Sometimes it’s on your side, sometimes it’s so against you it hurts. Think of it as a test of your patience and mettle. Only chumps would surrender to fate. Champs would only be encouraged to fight that much harder.

OK, pep talk over. Meanwhile, Darwin drops Paratroopers in the northern area of the map. Yes, I know those yellow arrows pointing downward don’t really do anything. It’s not like you can steer the parachutes, I know this. But what else was I supposed to mark up on that shot? Leave it alone, you say? Not when my mouse hand is going crazy to scribble yellow lines all over everything!

Meanwhile the bad news continues in the American base. Darwin’s second AT gun pops out and is instantly killed. Malivos sacrifices a PG squad to capture one of the AT guns, giving him serious anti-building firepower which he uses to destroy the U.S. Motorpool.

This is not good at all for Darwin. In fact, most observers would say it’s the beginning of the inevitable end for the army of freedom.

More Paratroopers rain from the sky; Darwin’s manpower reserves soar on account of his not being able to build anything in his base.

The graphics in the game still haven't gotten old for me.

By now Malivos is basically chilling. He sends his troops to methodically destroy all of Darwin’s base structures. In his base, he starts floating large amounts of manpower, not really doing anything with it. He also researches the Marder upgrade, wholly unnecessary given the lack of any armor coming from Darwin.

But let’s not starting digesting the game just yet. It ain’t over till the fat lady sings.

Darwin adapts, nay evolves his strategy. He garrisons the civilian structure overlooking his SP bridge with an MG and starts upgrading it to a Forward HQ. I’d have gone for something a little sturdier, like the massive church right beside this building, but to each his own. This building offers much better MG coverage of the crucial bridge SP and it has no blind spots, unlike the church.

With the Forward HQ up, Darwin starts building Riflemen to supplement his Paratroopers. As it turns out, the two Rifles he winds up training will prove critical in the next few skirmishes.

Up north, Darwin has his first Paratrooper squad harrassing Malivos’ +10 fuel point. The entire squad is slaughtered by MP44 PGs while Darwin wasn’t looking. Given the few units he has, there is just about no excuse for letting that happen.

Moments later, Darwin multiples his misfortune by losing his second Paratrooper squad, this time to hostile fire by the civilian building in the top left of the map, near the hay bales.

It’s a combination of an Armored Car and advancing PGs that does in our brave airborne soldiers.

Oh noes, General!

The MG garrisoning the building is also eliminated by the AC’s fast-firing cannon. It’s three very severe losses for Darwin, who was already on the ropes. If this didn’t put Malivos (or anyone in his position) in a festive mood, I dunno what will.

Actually, I do. His AC randomly runs into Darwin’s famous, Kraut-dodging Sniper and kills him almost as an afterthought. But wait, there’s more! At this point in the game, every single structure in the American base is toast, including the HQ, which reduces Darwin’s manpower income by 50%.

While he’s busy in Darwin’s base, Malivos finally gets careless and lets his second AC run randomly into Darwin’s garrisoned Forward HQ MG and Rifle squads. It gets peaced out with a minimum of fanfare. NOTE: As of patch 2.502, the MG window-switching delay bug is alive and well. Sometimes the MGs switch windows quickly enough so there’s no real impact; other times I have seen the MG basically never switch while enemy squads pour bullets through the opposite windows. Be careful when deploying garrisoned MGs.

OK. Now let’s review where we stand. To the left you see a complete list of all the units at Darwin’s disposal. He’s got an Engy, two Rifles and an MG. He can no longer drop Paratroopers because his HQ is toast. Arrayed against him is the army you see below.

More is good.

Now obviously the Flakvierling crews do not really count as part of Malivos’ army, but they do show up when you hover the cursor over his army “shield” icon. How can Malivos possibly lose with this? Let’s not forget, he also has access to Sector Artillery and will soon have Hummels. I will add a few caveats that are worth mentioning. Darwin has been far more aggressive with capping (most good U.S. players are, especially vs. a slow-capping PE army). As a result, he has a significant Victory Point (VP) advantage. Malivos actually says at this point “GG,” figuring that there’s no way in hell Darwin can come back from this. The remark isn’t insulting or even unreasonable given the situation, though you could also argue it was premature. Darwin goes ballistic over it. Sigh.

Moving on, Malivos gets a little bold and sends his troops at Darwin’s FHQ stronghold. Unfortunately a direct attack against Riflemen in green cover, who can reinforce from the FHQ, is not smart. Malivos kills a lot of Rifle squaddies, but fails to eliminate any squads and his light vehicles limp away with heavy damage.

Inviting targets.

Darwin is maximizing every last asset he has and recaptures one of his old 57mm AT guns from his base, recrewing it with Riflemen. This affords his FHQ a nice defensive setup, with an AT gun and MG guarding it.

Click to enlarge.

This building has its defensive advantages.

Meanwhile, he starts repairing his actual HQ building with an Engineer squad. Malivos plays rather conservatively, choosing to recapture territory and reverse his VP bleeding rather than teching up to Panzer IV infantry support tanks or renewing his attacks. He does attack the FHQ a few more times with his PGs and an AC, but the narrow angles of attack, combined with Darwin’s well-placed defenses, result in no real gains.

He slaughters two more entire squads of Rifles, which really shouldn’t have happened. Darwin has some difficulty with multi-tasking. But he’s got a plan, and the plan is simple: get a T17, ASAP. He manages to get his Motorpool up because Malivos focuses his assaults on the FHQ, not on the actual American base. This can be tricky for Malivos; he knows the FHQ is a perfectly attainable target, but he shouldn’t have neglected the real base. A Schwimmwagen could’ve checked on the status of the destroyed HQ.

By the time he realizes his mistake, the T-17 is in production and he desperately focuses all fire on it. Needless to say, he should be 90% of the way to the Panther Battlegroup by now, but it’s a lesson to all of us NOT TO SLACK OFF even when we have the upper hand. Good players come back when given half a chance. OK, I know, it was a tough mistake

Argh! Hans, speed up the guns!

And the T-17 bursts forth from the loins of the Motorpool like a rampaging bull and destroys both ACs. My God, is that Phosphorous Round good or what?

Ah, bright explosions. They make it all good.

Unfortunately Malivos has his captured 57mm AT gun in position and slaps that T-17 awfully good, twice. It gets peaced out and winds up a blackened ruin right on the American HQ’s doorstep. The T-17 is the perfect example of an unbalanced unit. Its single weakness (low health without veterancy) is astoundingly severe; its strengths (AT stun, high rate-of-fire and anti-infantry lethality) are outrageously good. There is absolutely no middle ground with this unit.

After this exchange, Malivos retreats his men to the strip of land just above the American HQ and begins repairing his damage vehicles with his PGs. Right at this time, Darwin gets enough Command Points for the Strafing Run. You know from the title banner of this Battle Report what’s coming next. Deva-fucking-station. Everything dies. Here’s a YouTube clip with some amusing musical accompaniment (partly because I still can’t get YouTube to preserve the audio in the Fraps videos I take).

This is probably far from the worst Strafing Run in COH history, or even in the brief history of patch 2.502. But it’s still pretty friggin’ bad. To the left you see the list of units in the path of the Strafing Run. These units are all lost after the P47 flies into the sunset.

Just to capture what it looked like from ground level, I offer the following carefully captured screens:

Ow...

Owwwww....

...AAARRGHH!

No, seriously, AAAAARRRR-WTF-GGGGHHH!

Seriously, use that scroll wheel on your mouse (or the good ol’ arrow keys on your keyboard if you don’t gots a scroll-y mouse) and flip through these shots fast. Tell me your eyes don’t start to bleed!

This is just about GGz, in my opinion. Malivos deploys a Marder to counter the inevitable additional T-17s, but it races to far to the front (God, I hate it when my Marders do that). Unsupported, the Marder has a very tragic encounter with a newly dropped Paratrooper squad that just finished getting its Recoilless Rifle package.

The game concludes with two T-17s racing into Malivos’ base and slaughtering every PG in sight.

Oh, the humanity.

I should note that this match saw some very nasty exchanges between two good players, which is very disappointing, in my opinion. At a really high skill level, you should know people will abuse shit regularly and you should know how to deal with it. As I reiterated earlier, it’s pretty childish to go nuts when the predictable bullshit hits you in your plump, cherubic cheek.

If you’re any good, you should’ve seen that coming. Getting pissed just makes you look like a whiny bitch. And when I say “you” I don’t necessarily mean Darwin — I’m talking about anybody. At least Darwin won in the end. Anyway, I’m done opinion-nating. Here’s the concluding breakdown.

CharlesDarwin
PROS:
- Great Sniper maneuvers early on, keeping him alive
- Effective MG placement/use throughout the game
- Great job capping territory and maintaining VP advantage
- Maintained decent resource parity with opponent despite getting points scorched early on
- Great mental stamina, fighting on with a solid plan despite very bad odds
- Extremely well-placed and well-timed Strafing Run

LUCKY SHIT FOR WHICH YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED:
- I don’t care if you have heat-seeking .50 cal bullets, there is no way in God’s name that the Strafing Run should’ve been as devastating as it was

CONS:
- Lost way too many squads because he wasn’t paying attention; total of four squads (including 2 Paras and 2 Rifles) melted by the enemy for no good reason, with minimal effort from Malivos
- Pretty shitty attitude for a good player to have

Malivos
PROS:
- Had an excellent strategy planned, and executed it flawlessly early on
- Pretty good squad survivability, though not perfect
- Very fast with ACs

LUCKY SHIT FOR WHICH YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED:
- You are so friggin’ lucky that 57mm AT shell hit the wreckage in front of your AC rather than the AC itself

CONS:
- Lost an AC and a Marder due to pure carelessness
- Failed to build Panzer IV infantry support tanks, which would’ve almost guaranteed victory
- Didn’t really use abilities like Booby Traps and Sector Artillery
- Got lazy and floated manpower; too confident of victory
- Ignored VPs for too long, even when he gained map control

As promised, the rain of fantastical content continues with three more tracks from the first volume of our Mind of a Master audio strategy series. I’m also planning to release the long-awaited Battle Report sometime today or very early tomorrow.

Just as a reminder, tomorrow I’m flying out to magical Denver, Colorado — the Mile-High City — to run a conference for my company. I’ll be back late Wednesday night. So, here’s hoping Surprise or someone else gets in a post to keep things hopping while I’m gone (hoping — hopping, get it?).

Track 5: American faction overview by Surprise

Track 6: American faction-specific counters

Track 7: Controversial balance issues, Blitzkrieg doctrine